Good suggestion Danae

Why losing our time by argumenting when someone who insult you on the forum. I always used the PM way when the argument is problematic and most often than not it's the best solution since you don't have to tell everyone you were wrong publicly this way.

But like everyone, I fall in the argument trap also but I try my best to not go personal and insulting (I don't think a single one of my post was moderated). It's not that hard and it's better for the heart

Quoting Pantheon:

Quote:

However, the above logic can only be applied if you are not an ego-maniacal sociopath with delusions of grandeur.

Ahhhh...there's the rub! 

“Anger, in itself, is not best viewed as bad or wrong. It is simply another state of mind that arises in reaction to circumstances,”... “It is natural to feel angry at times … but we need to understand how anger functions and how it affects us, not condemn ourselves for feeling it.” Sharon Salzberg

Once I understand how it affects me and how it functions, then I can deal with it in a appropriate manner.

Buddhism teaches us this

Agreed T!M, while I respect and understand the sentiment Katy and others are expressing I find it amusing that the community as a whole should make an effort based on the actions of one individual.  While this certain individual is at the center of the storm, I also think people should also try and take they high road when encountering inflammatory posts.  I don't agree that people should be ignore the post when being baited or attacked, but simply acknowledge the poor behavior without giving in to the urge to respond in kind. 

I also haven't had my posts directly edited, I believe I've quoted others who had their posts edited which resulted in mine being edited as well.

That is probably true, and everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  I'd agree that putting it all on one poster would be unfair and inaccurate.  But I'd say it'd be fair to say that a good portion of the problem lies with one user, I think many of the inflammatory posts are of others tie in directly or indirectly with the one user.  That isn't giving them a free pass as in the end everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any real repercussions for behaving poorly.  Just yesterday a poster violated the rules, and openly mocked them and all that happened was being told not to do it and the thread being closed.  Until the time there is a deterrent for this type of behavior it will continue to occur.  As it is now you can pretty much say anything you want and the worst that will happen is having your posts removed.  IMO the only way to fix the problem is to have a system in place to deal with unacceptable behavior, until such time things aren't going to change.  I've also read that they'd like a permanent ban which I also don't agree with.  You can't have zero discipline and then come down with something that dramatic.  Just have a system in place and the same rules for everyone and the forum would improve immediately.

Quoting DoubleDownAgain:

Quote:
That is probably true, and everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  I'd agree that putting it all on one poster would be unfair and inaccurate.  But I'd say it'd be fair to say that a good portion of the problem lies with one user, I think many of the inflammatory posts are of others tie in directly or indirectly with the one user.  That isn't giving them a free pass as in the end everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any real repercussions for behaving poorly.  Just yesterday a poster violated the rules, and openly mocked them and all that happened was being told not to do it and the thread being closed.  Until the time there is a deterrent for this type of behavior it will continue to occur.  As it is now you can pretty much say anything you want and the worst that will happen is having your posts removed.  IMO the only way to fix the problem is to have a system in place to deal with unacceptable behavior, until such time things aren't going to change.  I've also read that they'd like a permanent ban which I also don't agree with.  You can't have zero discipline and then come down with something that dramatic.  Just have a system in place and the same rules for everyone and the forum would improve immediately.

But who do you discipline.  Obviously the original poster, but what about the people that went in and knowingly continued the bad behavior.

With my children, it does matter who started it, but if they all participate, then they all receive a punishment.  While you try to espouse one person, the people responding angrily, and continuing the discussion for 10 pages are just as guilty in my mind.

The problem that people have here, is they think that they must respond in kind to any perceived insult.  That response in itself is also bad behavior.

If you want it to stop, then you must also stop.  If you read a post that is, to you offensive, then flag it with red and don't respond in kind.  My mother used to say, "it takes 2 to Tango".  It is really hard to have a heated argument with yourself.

Charlie

Quoting VibroCount:

Quote:
All I know is that I had a star. One poster made statements which I (and many others) felt were racist. The day after I called the poster on the racist statements, I lost my star, and it has never returned.

This site condones the terrible behavior of this poster and punishes anyone who calls the poster on the evil behavior.

Or is there another possibility I am missing?

Well... I don't know the situation... but the only thing I could possibly think of is...

Was this back when the red arrows effected your stars? (now all they do is let mods know of the posts) If so it is possible that if you called the poster out in a bad way... calling names and such that both you and the poster that many thought were racist got the (or multiple) red arrows. If this was back when the red arrows effected your stars that could explain how you lost your star. And if the other poster had no star to loose then it didn't look to effect his rating (though we were told it did behind the scenes).

I am not saying that this is the case with you... but I have seen people call people out in a bad way where it made me give red arrows to both people (the bad poster as well as the person that called them out) as for me when it comes to name calling that is an instant red arrow from me no matter who the poster is or why they name called (retaliation or not).

Quoting CharlieM:

Quote:
Quoting DoubleDownAgain:

Quote:
That is probably true, and everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  I'd agree that putting it all on one poster would be unfair and inaccurate.  But I'd say it'd be fair to say that a good portion of the problem lies with one user, I think many of the inflammatory posts are of others tie in directly or indirectly with the one user.  That isn't giving them a free pass as in the end everyone should be accountable for their own actions.  Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be any real repercussions for behaving poorly.  Just yesterday a poster violated the rules, and openly mocked them and all that happened was being told not to do it and the thread being closed.  Until the time there is a deterrent for this type of behavior it will continue to occur.  As it is now you can pretty much say anything you want and the worst that will happen is having your posts removed.  IMO the only way to fix the problem is to have a system in place to deal with unacceptable behavior, until such time things aren't going to change.  I've also read that they'd like a permanent ban which I also don't agree with.  You can't have zero discipline and then come down with something that dramatic.  Just have a system in place and the same rules for everyone and the forum would improve immediately.

But who do you discipline.  Obviously the original poster, but what about the people that went in and knowingly continued the bad behavior.

With my children, it does matter who started it, but if they all participate, then they all receive a punishment.  While you try to espouse one person, the people responding angrily, and continuing the discussion for 10 pages are just as guilty in my mind.

The problem that people have here, is they think that they must respond in kind to any perceived insult.  That response in itself is also bad behavior.

If you want it to stop, then you must also stop.  If you read a post that is, to you offensive, then flag it with red and don't respond in kind.  My mother used to say, "it takes 2 two Tango".  It is really hard to have a heated argument with yourself.

Charlie

I agree with many of your points but I think you can respond to an attack without attacking back.  All I'm suggesting is that the site is moderated in an active and consistent manner.  Flagging it with red doesn't do any good so why even bother?  It will continue to be a problem, whether it's one user or many, until something is done about it.

If a system is in place to deal with it then both people should face the consequences of their actions regardless of who started it.